The Peanut Gallery
by lilyplouisa
Summary: The characters must comment on a fic. They ARE the peanut gallery. Nora and I wrote this.


A/N Umm. . .Nora, hope you don't mind me posting this. . .   
  
Nora: And the fanfiction authors raised their pens at the characters and said: "Do a commentary on this, as the peanut gallery, or I will make you all fall in love with Jennifer and lick her toes!  
  
And the characters shuddered, and climbed into the peanut gallery, microphones in hand, for Louisa and Nora to write down and post on the internet what they said.  
  
Louisa: And the insane giggling from Louisa's side of the room...*dissolves into helpless laughter*....And the *giggling* and the...*giggling*...and I have much sugar and you don't!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! EEEEEEEEEeee. ^_^  
  
((The authors are not in this fic, that was the bloody author's notes, so don't move the whole bloody fic into another bloody section! Is that bloody okay?-Nora))  
  
The peanut gallery contains:  
Draco Malfoy  
Ron Weasley  
Hermione Granger  
Harry Potter  
Mary Sue  
Neville Longbottom  
Misty Mayonaisse (from Pokemon)  
((a/n *insane, evil giggling*))  
Morty the Moose   
Parvati's lipstick  
Professor S. Trelawney  
The Dragonfly (Nora's muse)  
Sadie (Nora's dog)  
Peeves the Poltergeist  
Sporkie The Foon  
Iorek Byrnison (the His Dark Materials Trilogy and if you don't know who the bloody hell he is, he's a polar bear)  
Tracey The Magical Mustard Can  
The Chorus (different groups)  
  
*~*~*He had never thought that he was that bad- I mean, he wasn't a killer at heart, or at least he didn't seem to be. He had never killed anyone before, but there is a first time for everything.*~*~*  
  
((A/N: Bloody, bloody, bloody))  
Chorus (Everclear): Everything is wonderful now, nah nah nah nah nah *ect*  
Sadie: *doggie kisses*  
Tracey: *is a can of mustard*  
Morty: *is a stuffed animal*  
Mary Sue: *is applying Parvati's lipstick* *is a blondie*  
Sadie: *tries to eat the lipstick* WOOF!  
  
*~*~*Ron Weasley searched his mind to remember the first victim of Voldemort. It had been one of his own followers, one that did not obey his every command. He shuddered to think about it- it was then that it was known that he really was capable of murder.*~*~*  
  
Sporkie: I was the first one of Voldemort's victims! I was made into a foon! *cries*  
  
*~*~*No one thought Draco Malfoy was really capable of murder, either. He was just Draco- an annoying Slytherin brat that generally pissed people from other houses off, and everyone hated him with a passion.*~*~*  
  
Draco: That is not true! Everyone was JEALOUS of me!  
Ron: *growls*  
Harry: More like YOU'RE Jealous of everybody else.  
Hermione: BLONDIFY!! *turns Draco into a blondie*  
Draco: So Hermi, I like, tottally dig that dress, and stuff! It is, like, so tottally fabulous on you! Mary Sue, can I use that fabulous lipstick you h-*  
Sadie: *has finnished eating the lipstick, walks over and throws up all over Draco*  
Draco: Ew! That is, like, totally gross and stuff!  
  
*~*~*But then, he was changed. His father must have turned him over to the Dark side at that point, thought Ron to himself. It was then that Hogwarts went under total terror and chaos.*~*~*  
  
Trewlawny: I predicted that you would write this in a-  
Hermione: *gags Trelawney*  
Trelawney: Eemf oog glug..  
Hermione: *is proud of self*  
Neville: Hehe.. I love you, Hermione..  
Hermione: *gets ready to gag Neville too, but realizes she used up her thingies she uses to gag people with on the authors of this story*  
((A/N: Umf.))  
  
*~*~***Flashback***~*~*  
  
Ron: Stupid flashbacks. You had to write this bloody story about me..  
((A/N: *brandishes Jennifer*))  
Ron: All right, all right fine!  
  
*~*~*It was seventh year. There had been many casualties to Voldemort's rise to power, including four Hogwarts students. Cedric Diggory was the first, then Dennis Creevy, Padma Patil, and the last, Hermione Granger.*~*~*  
  
Hermione: What?!? *turns to Harry* YOU IDIOT!!!  
Harry: What did I do?!  
Hermione: *glares*  
Ron: *leans over and attempts to kiss Hermione*  
Hermione: And Ron! YOU IDIOT!!! YOU LEFT ME TO DIE!!!  
Ron: *cries*  
Harry: *gasps* Hermione, how could you?!  
Dragon: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!! *launches herself at Harry* YOU GASPED! YOU GASPED!!  
Peeves: *drops water balloons on everyone's head*  
Draco: You, like, totally washed all the, like, dog barf off my, like, totally cool outfit! Like, totally thanks and stuff!  
Chorus *whoever sings that one song*: She's an ordinary girl, in a magical world...*etc*  
Misty: Yep, that's me.  
Hermione: *glares* That's ME!!  
Misty: Is not!  
Hermione: Is too!  
Chorus *Destiny's Child*: I'm a survivor, I'm not your giver, I'm a survivor...*etc*  
Hermione: *is about to throttle Misty when Harry hides behind her*  
Harry: Save me from the Dragonfly!!!  
Dragon: *goes to Earth Dragonfly mode, her wings turning into growing leaves, and her outfit turning from red-orange to green-brown* I WILL SIC EBIL VINES ON YOU TO CHOKE YOU AND KILL YOU SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY IF YOU DO THAT AGAIN, ANY OF YOU!!  
Misty: *gasp*  
Dragon: *begins to tear at Misty, but is held back by Tracey The Magical Mustard Can*  
Tracey: *is a mustard can*  
Draco: Mustard doesn't, like, totally come in cans!  
((A/N: *gags Draco*))  
Mary Sue: *falls out of peanut gallery*  
SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Draco: Like, omg! Like, Mary Sue, like, are you like, totally dead and stuff?  
Mary Sue: *is, like, totally dead and stuff*  
Iorek: *wakes up from a long nap* Where am I? Who are you people? Who took my armor? Where are your daemons?  
Peeves: I'm a demon! *drops log on Iorek*  
Hermione: Latitude 76 E, Longitude 75 N.  
Harry: Huh?  
Sporkie: NO! *launches itself at Hermione, and becomes Fooned and is a Spork again, Hermione has a scratch on her arm* We are on Sporkland, on the dark side of the Moooon!  
Iorek: Why do you need me?  
Hermione: No idea.  
Iorek: *busts the door down and leaves*  
Hermione: *starts to leave*  
((A/N: *bars the door in place*Umph!))  
  
*~*~*Hermione, though, was not killed by Voldemort himself, but by a Hogwarts student- Draco Malfoy.*~*~*  
  
Hermione: MALFOY, YOU (censored)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *chases after him with a wok*  
Draco: heheheheheh....*runs*  
Ron: YEAH!! *chases him with a wok, too*  
Hermione: *turns to Ron* MY IDEA!! My wok! *chases him*  
Ron: But Hermione! I wuv you!   
Hermione: That's *whack* just *whack* the *whack* problem *whack*!!!!!  
Peeves: Oh, Potter, you rotter, look what you've done! You've messed with love potions, you think it's good fun!  
Harry: I haven't! Peeves is a liar! I'll kill you, Peeves!  
Peeves: *giggles*  
Draco: I love you, Peeves!  
((A/N: *brings out more punch* *shoves in a big magic spike*))  
Sporkie, Neville, the Lipstick, Morty, and Tracey: *do not drink the punch*  
Everyone else: *gulps down punch*  
All: I LOVE YOU, LOUISA!  
All: LOUISA IS MINE!  
((A/N: Louisa: UMPH. *turns them all into bouncy balls, the little orange kind.*))  
((A/N: Nora: *turns them all back and hides Louisa in a far corner of Sporkland with a microphone so she can still yell at people*))  
Ron: Aren't we supposed to.. um.. be doing a commentary?  
Draco: I love you, Peeves!  
Peeves: *drops a building on Draco's head*  
  
*~*~*The day they found out, Ron basicly locked himself in the dormitories and closed the curtains on his four-poster bed, not talking to anyone and magicly pinning the curtains to the wall so no one could get in. Seamus and Dean would bring him food and sort of tuck it over the top of the curtains.*~*~*  
  
Hermione: Would you really do that, Ronnikins? *wipes tears from eyes*  
Ron: *seizes oppertunity, pulling Hermione into the closet*  
Harry: *gulp*  
Dragon: *lunges after Harry, again*  
Neville: *gets a deathgrip on Dragon's foot*  
Harry: *runs off*  
Dragon: *shifts to Air Dragon, flying up into the air and bumping her head on the roof of the peanut gallery* HEY! They get to go into a closet, even though there aren't closets in the peanut gallery, and I have to bump my head!?! Not fair!  
((A/N: Life isn't fair, Dragon))  
Dragon: *growls*  
Peeves: *goes into the closet, hands full of Dungbombs and head full of rhymes*  
Draco: *snort*  
Neville: *cries* Her-mi-oh-nee! I wuv you...  
Hermione: *is bloody busy here*  
Ron: *is incredebly happy*  
Harry: *pouts* Were's my Choiepoo?  
((A/N Louisa: AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH!! Down with Cho Chang, the evil blondie!))  
((A/N Nora: *turns Louisa's microphone off*))  
Harry: *sulks*  
Dragon: *summons Cho to make Harry shut up* *sulks*  
Cho: *takes Harry into another closet*  
  
*~*~*Harry, on the other hand, paced the common room, and the grounds, trudging through classes and attempting to pretend nothing happened. He would go to the three's favorite spot that they found in 5th year, a hidden cave out in the rocks by the lake. There were some flowers growing out there, and it was there that he sat and cried for hours on end for the loss of his friend that was almost a sister.*~*~*  
  
Harry: Sister?   
Cho: *pulls him back into the closet*  
((A/N Louisa: *Gags*))  
  
*~*~*Ron remembered following him out there, looking into the cave, and seeing the little shrine Harry had made out of a flat rock, three candles and some flowers. There was sand covering the rock, and he could see that there was all three of there names etched it the sand.*~*~*  
  
Peeves: Oh Potter, you rotter, look what you've done, you've made a shrine for your dead friend, you think it's good fun!  
Harry: *sound-proofs the closet he's in with Cho*  
Tracey: I am Tra-cey, the a-maze-ing must-ard can!  
Chorus (Louisa and her Sister playing Instruments): *play Bach's Chacconne*  
Hermione: *irritated* SHUT UP! CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY????!!!  
Ron: *satisfied sigh*  
Dragon: *makes the closets disappear*  
((A/N Louisa: Thank God! *microphone is off*))  
Cho and Harry: Hey!  
Dragon: Shut up or I'll kill you.   
All: *shut up*  
Misty: *gasp*  
Draco: *gasp*  
Dragon: AAAARRRRRGH!!! *chases them away and comes back looking very smug*  
  
*~*~*~*End of Flashback*~*~*~*  
  
Neville: Good! Flash-Backs are peices of poo-poo!  
**Strange looks from the original peanut gallery**  
Cho: *magics in a closet*  
Harry: Yay!  
((A/N Nora: Arg.))  
Ron: Flashiebackies do goooood things for me. ^_^ *grins*  
Peeves: *floats into the top of the closet* *LOL*  
Tracey: So far, it was a pretty (censored) fic.  
Mary Sue: I'm the ghost of Mary Sue, give me all your MAKEUP!!  
Misty: *mutters* You'll need it even in the afterlife, (censored)...  
Mary Sue: *tries to beat up Misty but goes through her*  
((A/N Louisa: *bounces a little orange bouncy ball*))  
Sporkie: We really should get back to the-  
  
*~*~*Ron looked back on those days with almost a longing, because only one of his best friends was dead- not both of them, plus his little sister, twin brothers, and eldest brother.*~*~*  
  
Harry: Hey! I'm NOT DEAD!!  
Draco: *smug* That's what you think.  
Harry: Oh yeah? Oh yeah? *raises fists*  
Draco: *raises eyebrows*  
Dragon: *snort*  
Harry: *lungs at Draco*  
Draco: *pushes Harry off peanut gallery*  
Chorus (Nora and Louisa): He rolled out of the peanut gallery, and onto the floor, and then poor old Harry, he rolled out the door. *ect*  
Dragon: *snort*  
Harry: Ow... *lands in Mary Sue*  
Mary Sue: Heh heh heh. You deserved what you..  
Harry: *runs out the door after Iorek, who would help him find the Subtle Knife to cut Mary Sue's head off with*  
Cho: MINE! *runs after Harry, also getting covered in Mary Sue*  
Ron: *sigh* Such an un-pretty story..  
Chorus (that band that plays Unpretty, I could care less who that is so you don't have to tell me in a review): *sings unpretty, which I forgot the lyrics to*  
Draco: *glances at Hermione*  
Ron: *growls* HEY! SHE IS TOO PRETTY!  
Hermione: *sigh*  
  
*~*~*As a tear ran down his freckled face, he remembered that Voldemort had been defeated. But had he? He still left all of this chaos in the world- there was not one magic family that didn't mourn the loss of a loved one at Voldemort's hands.*~*~*  
  
Draco: Me!  
Dragon: ME!  
Mary Sue: ME!  
Tracey: ME!  
Dragon: You have no loved ones, idiots. And mustard doesn't COME in frikken damn bloody cans!  
Tracey: I'm MAGICAL Mustard! Bow down!  
Dragon: *adds mustard to the pile of Mary Sue*  
Ron: *wipes tear from eye* Is this fic over yet?  
((A/N Nora: *smug look*))  
  
*~*~*~*Finis*~*~*~*  
  
Ron: *smug look*  
((A/N Nora: Aww...))  
Neville: *falls out of the peanut gallery*  
Hermione: Perfect ending to perfect.. ow...  
Tracey: *slams into Hermione*  
Morty: *is a stuffed moose*  
Chorus: This is the fic that never ends, oh it goes on and on my... ow... *gets a punch in the face from everyone left in the peanut gallery*  
((A/N Nora: *turns off the peanut gallery*))  
~*Finis*~  
  
Disclaimer: Ok, repeat after me: I-AM-A-BIG-FAT-IDIOT. Ok, good, now on with business. The Furbies own everything, because they are taking over the world and are ebil.. *shudder*  
  
Claimer: We own the world, including Little Orange Bouncy Balls and Sporks and Foons. Bring frikeen damn bloody $2 and a Spork or you won't be able to get in, stupid idiot.. *gets phone hung up* Wait, I'm supposed to be writing something.. Louisa.. YOU WERE WRITING THIS DOWN?!?!?!?! *at this point, Jade desides to come out, leaving Nora hopelessly twitching on the ground*  
Louisa: It'll pass, and if it doesn't, you can give us lots of sporks. ^_^ Jade, what is your problem? *listens to Jade* Heheh...maybe you should see a psychologist.  
If you don't get this...well...happy birthday!  
Bye!  
Bye!  
Bye!  
Bye!  
Nora: *twitch* *twitch* *begins randomly talking in Roleplay, gets shot in the leg by Remora, and regains insanity, chasing after him with a herd of horses pulling a giant Wok*  
  
A/N Louisa: Now, if she doesn't come back, I want you to order a large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese. And make it quick. And leave a review, while you're at it. I like pepperoni pizza. ^_^ And be nice. Cuz I said so. Or be mean. I don't care! And nobody has to lick Jennifer's toes! Yay! Rejoice!  
  
A/N Nora: I don't sugest flaming a pyro.. but if you want to, go ahead.. *lays down a layer of gassoline on the edge of the fic so that flamers will be burned* Lalalalala.. *cannot whistle* Jennifer's toes can stay un-licked.. wait.. *chases Iorek*  
  
Iorek: *licks Jennifer's toes*  
Jennifer: You are acting like Lizzie!  
  
~*Arg*~  
  
~*Finis*~  
^ . ^-Louisa  
www.inkstain.net/nora/piccy.html -Nora  
  
~*Frikken Damn Bloody Done, for Spork's Sake*~  
  
  
LOUISA: For the other Freaky Five's sake, Nora and Jennifer are not best friends. *DUH*  
  
Review! 


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